


The Same Team

by tornyourdress



Category: Have I Got News For You RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:42:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24456883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tornyourdress/pseuds/tornyourdress
Summary: For once, they're on the same side of the set.
Relationships: Ian Hislop/Paul Merton
Kudos: 7





	The Same Team

**Author's Note:**

> Another 2004 HIGNFY ficfest story (for Sarah/nerdcakes), set during series 11 (1996). Paul took this series off, apart from the first episode, in which he appeared as a guest on Ian's team.

He knew this was a bad idea, having them on the same team. He’s used to looking over at Paul on the other side of the set and being able to argue with him that way. It’s easier when there’s distance, and rather difficult when they’re sitting right next to each other and every so often Paul’s right hand disappears from view – never for long enough to arouse suspicion from the audience or the crew, but definitely long enough to arouse something else. Just a quick caress with his fingertips, short strokes that have what is presumably the intended effect on Ian – to render him momentarily unable to think clearly. They’re on the same team, he thinks, and decides that Paul’s idea of sportsmanship leaves a lot to be desired. Not that Ian is an expert on sportsmanship, but he knows that sabotaging your team-mate is frowned upon. It was the last time he checked, anyway.

And then he realises that if this is the way Paul wants to play it, then two can play at that game. His left hand moves as if to scratch his leg or perform some other mundane action, and reaches over just that little bit extra. Eddie is saying something amusing and Ian knows he doesn’t have to worry about the cameras at this exact moment in time. He can afford to be daring, and only the most astute members of the audience will have noticed that brief flash of surprise on Paul’s face. 

They find themselves remaining in their seats, still talking casually, as everyone around them starts to pack up and leave. Angus walks past them on his way out, wishing them goodnight. His tone is neutral, but Ian has a strange feeling that he noticed what they were up to. He wonders if he should worry, or feel guilty, or have some sort of reaction, but mostly he’s just waiting for a moment for him and Paul to escape to somewhere more private without anyone noticing just what kind of state they’re in, and putting two and two together. 

When they finally reach his dressing room, Ian pushes a chair up against the door to prevent interruptions. His breathing is getting faster and faster as his trousers are removed and Paul gets to work properly, and he’s amazed the entire studio can’t hear his heartbeat. He knows this is wrong and shouldn’t really be happening, but he wants Paul to keep going anyway. Everything is wrong about tonight, anyway. They’re not supposed to sit on the same side. This is what happens, clearly, and it’s a good thing Paul won’t be around next week. 

And when (if? He’s still not sure) Paul comes back, they’ll be on different sides again, the way it’s meant to be. This is just for tonight, a parting gift, the consequence of having both of them on the same team.


End file.
